Questions, No Comments

For Thanksgiving, my friends and I played “We’re Not Really Strangers,” a card game meant to drive deep, meaningful conversation. There’s three levels to the game, each level has an associated set of cards, with each level containing deeper questions than the last.

For the second level, the player with the card speaks and other players listen and ask questions. Commentary from other players are not allowed because you can impose your view on someone else. For example, the card I got asked, “What’s an emotion you haven’t felt in awhile?” I went on a whole monologue and my friends asked me follow up questions.

The rule of “questions, no comments” changed the dynamic of the conversation. We all turned to intentive, present listeners.

I noticed how I had the urge at a few points to jump in and give commentary, and I would’ve done that if it weren’t for the rules. Yet, that the lack of commentary from others lead to a much deeper and fruitful conversation.