The Best Way to Help Others Is by Living Your Best Life

Last week, my close friend and roommate Rishi dedicated his daily post to me. I’ll share it here in full:

I admire my roommate James because he’s consistent and methodical—two things that sound basic on paper but are actually pretty rare in practice.

First, James is consistently consistent and I learn a lot from that. We all know consistency is important, but watching someone actually live it out is a totally special experience. James is a consistent writer. He’s written daily since January 1, 2020. We technically started daily blogging at the same time, and I lasted a couple of months—but he just kept going. Since we live together, I see the sacrifices he makes (sometimes he says no to karaoke) as well as the sacrifices he doesn’t make (sometimes he says yes to karaoke).

He’s also consistent with morning workouts and eating healthy—two things I’ve always struggled to lock in. Watching him get after it every day makes it feel a little more doable.

Second, James is methodical. He picks a small number of goals, commits to them, and actually sees them through. I’ve seen him achieve his gym goals, land a PM job, revamp his wardrobe, start a fashion newsletter, decorate his room, but he doesn’t try to do everything all at once. He picks one or two goals at a time, and he does them well.
Overall, James makes me feel like I can achieve my goals since he’s able to accomplish so much through his hard work and diligence.

Reading it filled my heart. It was a beautiful reminder of what drives me in the first place: I aim to raise the level of excellence in myself, so that I can raise it in others.

We all want to make an impact. For me, it starts with becoming the best version of myself.

On Eddie Huang

I still remember the first time I saw Eddie Huang on an episode of Huang’s World on Vice. At the end of the episode, he cried over red-braised pork, talking about how he felt disconnected from his Taiwanese roots in America, and this dish was a symbol of home. I connected with him instantly. He was like an Asian Anthony Bourdain.

Eddie is a chef, writer, entrepreneur, and director, to name a few. The ABC show, Fresh off the Boat is actually based on his memoir of the same title.

Eddie quickly became one of my biggest inspirations. I read Fresh Off the Boat and later, Double Cup Love. He didn’t speak like the stereotypical Asian characters I’d grown up seeing. He carried himself differently. I had never seen someone who looked like me on screen, but also acted in a way that felt so raw and unfiltered.

I recently listened to his interview on the Throwing Fits podcast. It feels surreal because I think about where I was when I first discovered him — my first year of college, back in 2016. I still remember visiting New York for the first time in 2018 — my first stop was BaoHaus, his restaurant. Now, nearly a decade later, I’m living in the same city. In some strange way, I feel like I’ve followed a similar path.

Everything is an Accessory

My freshman year at Waterloo was 2015, right at the peak of the hackathon era. Looking back, college hackathon culture was crazy. You could travel all across North America for free because the hackathons would cover your expenses. We’d stay up for 24+ hours building apps, websites, and robots.

One clear sign that you were part of this culture was a laptop decked out in hackathon stickers. We collected them like Pokémon badges. If someone’s laptop was covered with stickers from UPenn’s PennApps, Stanford’s TreeHacks, Michigan’s MHacks, or our very own Hack the North, you knew they were a cracked engineer—you wanted that guy on your team.

Hackathon culture was quite the era, but it started cooling off by the late 2010s.

Lately, inspired by my friend Rishi, I’ve been wanting to deck out my laptop again. Right now, it’s completely bare, but I want to change that. I already have a few ideas: definitely a One Piece sticker, my company’s logo, a Toronto Raptors sticker. What’s my favourite movie? Ou how about a Studio Ghilbi sticker. I’m getting hyped just thinking about it.

What I love about fashion is that it’s a way to tell your story without saying a word—and it goes way beyond just your clothes.

I like to think that everything you carry is an accessory: your bag, your watch, your phone case, your laptop, even your water bottle. Each one is an opportunity to express yourself and tell your story.

Understanding Playboi Carti

I was listening to an interview with the late founder of Off-White and former Louis Vuitton Creative Director, Virgil Abloh.

In it, he said that Playboi Carti is the modern-day Miles Davis. I love Miles Davis. I had heard a few Playboi Carti tracks before but never gave them a deep listen. After hearing Abloh say that, I opened Spotify and started exploring Carti’s music.

The first track I played was Location. The opening verse went:

Yeah, what? What?
You cannot hop in my car (Yeah, yeah)
Bentley coupe ridin’ with stars (Yeah, yeah)
Yeah, what? What? (Yeah, yeah)
I keep a Glock like a cop (Yeah, yeah), uh, ayy, yeah (Yeah)
She give the top in the drop (What?)
Yeah, ayy (Yeah)
Diamonds, they wet on my arm (Diamonds, they wet on my arm, what?)

Not gonna lie, my first reaction was: wtf am I listening to? This man didn’t say a single thing that made sense this entire song. I couldn’t understand how Virgil could compare a jazz legend like Miles Davis to Playbpi Carti.

Later, I was talking to a friend who’s a big Playboi Carti fan about this. He told me that Carti’s appeal isn’t in the lyrics, it’s in the vibe and energy. His voice itself is an instrument. He plays with sounds, ad-libs, whispers, baby voices, creating something chaotic, mystical, and countercultural. His work is polarizing. You either love it or hate it.

Earlier this week, I listened to Carti again with that perspective. And this time, I started to get it.

His music is catchy as hell.

I found myself bopping my head without even thinking about it. The sounds in his songs don’t really resemble anything else I usually listen to.

Then I listened to Magnolia, and had it on repeat for an hour. It still might not be my favorite genre. I love lyrical music. I love instrumentals. But now, I can appreciate trap for what it is.

How to Be Chic on a Small Income

I wear suits nearly all of the time. I like them; they are practical in every way, and my advice to a business girl who wishes to dress smartly at all times and whose income is very limited is this: buy a good suit and live in it, rather than a lot of cheap clothes. Let it be a good, tailored suit, carefully made, with beautiful material, and above all, don’t be afraid to be seen in it too often. Good clothes, simply made, never “date,” no matter what anyone tells you. Of course, they must not be made with eccentric or exaggerated lines.
Wear your suit to business; wear it to dinners; to the theater; wear it twenty-four hours a day, every day in the year, if you must, and if it is a good suit, you will always look smart, attractive. On the other hand, if you own a fairly large variety of cheap clothes and change them a dozen times a day you will never appear chic; cheapness is always apparent. - Elsa Perretti for Photoplay Magazine, 1936

I came across this excerpt from Elsa Peretti and it resonated.

You don’t have to drop racks to look good. Instead, buy high quality, timeless essentials. And wear them often

Use the Past Tense to Move Beyond Limiting Beliefs

I used to say I didn’t like putting myself out there. That I wasn’t good at marketing. That I was more of an artist, more of a builder.

But I realized those were just limiting beliefs. I realized it was a story I was telling myself that wasn’t true.

One technique that’s helped me shift my mindset is using the past tense. I wasn’t good at marketing, but I’m getting better every day.

Framing it in the past separates it from my identity now. It’s no longer who I am. It’s just who I used to be.

Have Friends of All Ages

There are different lessons you can learn from friends of different ages.

Through my older friends, I learn through their wisdom and experience.

Through my younger friends, I learn through teaching and I’m inspired by their ambition.

Turning 28: On Making It

Cross posting from my menswear blog. You can find the full piece here

The other day I was working at Verci, the creative coworking community I’m a member of. While I was there, I had an interesting conversation with a few friends that I’ve been thinking about since. My friend said there are three types of people at Verci:

People who are figuring it out

People who are working on their thing

People who have “made it”

Out of curiosity, I asked him, “Who do you think has made it?”

He name dropped a few folks who’ve gone full-time on their own projects.

What struck me is that I know many of the people he mentioned, and I’d bet they don’t think they’ve made it either.

This idea of “making it” is so fallible.

Who’s the judge anyway? Society? Your industry peers? Fellow members of a creative community?

Making it is always relative. Many of us live in New York City. Many of us are chasing our dreams. Many people I know have some of the most elite jobs you can get. And to some, you’ve made it. To others, you haven’t.

But here’s what I realized last year: No one else gets to decide if I’ve made it. I do.

I don’t need to hit a certain income.

I don’t need a specific number of followers.

I don’t need validation from that cute girl.

Earlier this year, I realized: I already have everything I want.

I’ve made it.

And I don’t mean that in a “fake it ’till you make it” way. I mean it with full genuine confidence, I’ve made it.

If I take a step back and count my blessings this year, there’s plenty to list:

This year, I’m starting a Growth team at work. It’s pushing me to my professional limits, but I’m grateful for the opportunity and I’m embracing the challenge.

I run a writing community in the best writing city in the world.

I’ve made friendships with curious, kind people who are pursuing their truth.

My parents are healthy, and I have a strong relationship with my family.

Saying “I’ve made it” doesn’t mean I’m done. If anything, it’s just the beginning. Earlier in life, my ambition came from ego, insecurity, or fear. Now, I’m driven to grow into my best self and lift up those around me.

And that’s what Riveting is all about. Yes, I love menswear. Yes, I love fashion. But at the end of the day, it’s just clothes.

What it really is… is an outlet to pursue my curiosity.

To grow and share that journey with others.

And to encourage others to pursue their most authentic selves.

Be the Main Character for a Day

On Saturday, I organized a birthday picnic in McCarren park with 60 of my friends in the city.

I was worried about the weather, the forecast a few weeks ago said it was going to rain. Instead, it ended up being one of the most beautiful days of the year. In the words of Aman, I choose the perfect day for a picnic.

I worried about getting a spot in McCarren park. McCarren isn’t the biggest park and the weather was optimal for picnics. I camped at McCarren 4 hours before the start time to secure a spot (shoutout Rishi for running shifts with me). We had more than enough space at the park.

I remember telling a few friends that I wish I could’ve just chilled for my birthday instead of hosting a birthday picnic. But I’m so glad I did.

My heart felt so full getting to celebrate my birthday with so many of my NYC friends that it made all the effort worth it.

You’re Not Supposed to Get It

In 2005, streetwear designer Jeff Staple was commissioned by Nike to design a “New York City” shoe.

His team initially suggested obvious symbols like the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building. But Jeff had another idea: base the design on a pigeon. His team pushed back as pigeons were seen as “flying rats.” Who would want to wear a shoe inspired by one?

But the idea stuck with Jeff, and eventually, the team came around.

When he pitched it to Nike’s executives, they didn’t understand it either. Why a pigeon? Jeff explained: They weren’t supposed to get it. If a room full of executives in Portland, Oregon did get it, then the design had failed. The sneaker was meant to be an if you know, you know.

The Pigeon Dunk ended up selling out and even sparked riots and widespread media coverage across New York City when it dropped ushering in the era of the hypebeast sneaker.

Single Point of Failure Friend Groups

One of my friends, S, was one of the first core members of the Writing Club.

She was a super connector, always inviting people and bringing new energy into the group. I met so many friends through her. Over time, we became close. I went to her birthday party, and we’d regularly see each other at overlapping events.

But less than a year later, she moved out of the city. And ever since she left, I don’t really see many of those friends anymore. She was the central node holding that web together.

I’m sure a lot of people know someone like that, the glue in a friend group. When they leave, it doesn’t just feel like one person moving away. It feels like a whole circle quietly fades. In a transient city like New York, I’ve had many close friends come and go. And when one of them leaves, it’s not just them, it’s everyone you met through them that seems to disappear too.

Future Memories

“One of the great joys of life is riding a scooter through Vietnam, to be part of this mysterious, thrilling, beautiful choreography” - Anthony Bourdain

A few weeks ago, a close friend and I decided we wanted to travel to Vietnam this year. I told my manager this week that I’ll be off for Juneteeth to 4th of July weekend. Last step is to book my flights. Once that’s done this trip is set.

It’s a country I’ve always wanted to visit. Back when I was planning my post-grad solo trip, Southeast Asia was at the top of my list, but Vietnam was closed to visitors due to the pandemic in 2022, right around the time I wanted to go.

Every trip, every adventure, begins as an idea.

Who knows how this will turn out, but I already know I’ll be making future memories.

100 Times Stronger

In last week’s episode of One Piece, Luffy faces off against Admiral Kizaru. The last time they fought, Luffy and the entire Straw Hat crew were completely outclassed. They got demolished without Kizaru even breaking a sweat.

That episode first aired in April 2009.

This past weekend, Luffy saw Kizaru again. Luffy then dropped a line that’s been living rent-free in my head ever since:

“We’re 100 times stronger than we were two years ago.”

Whenever someone asks, “Why do you love One Piece so much?” It’s because I feel like I’m on this journey as part of the Straw Hat crew.

In the One Piece universe, that fight was just two years ago. In the real world, it was 16 years ago.

When Luffy first fought Kizaru I was 11 years old. I’ve grown so much since then.

Not only did Luffy and the Straw Hat pirates grow 100 times stronger since they last saw Kizaru, I too have grown 100 times stronger since then.

Honoring My Commitments

It’s 1 a.m., and I’ve been procrastinating in bed watching Anatoly prank videos on YouTube. I still haven’t written today.

Tomorrow, I RSVP’d to my friend’s morning writing club—it starts at 7:30 a.m.

Damn. Part of me wants to skip.

But no. I honor my commitments.

If I say I’m going to do something, I do it.

I Told You We’ll Make It

Credits to @Dearme2_

This is one of my favorite pics I’ve seen all year.

My younger self would be so proud of the man I’ve become.

Adult Recess

Last Wednesday, I wrote about my ideal afternoon routine:

-Take a (ideally) 1-hour lunch break

Eat a light lunch to avoid the crash

Drink a cup of green tea

Around 3 PM: go for a walk, stretch, or do some light chores

Stay hydrated

Plan ahead for the next day

That Thursday and Friday, I had the most productive afternoons I’ve ever had. I’m not kidding.

The game changer was the dedicated 3 PM midday break. Before, I’d take breaks whenever I felt like it—if at all. But having a set time gives me something to look forward to and a much-needed mental reset before closing out the day.

It actually reminds me of recess back in elementary school. We had a 15-minute recess at 10 AM, a 45-minute lunch break, and another 15-minute recess at 2 PM.

Even during those short breaks, my friends and I would squeeze in a quick game of basketball or soccer, or classics like manhunt, four square, or elimination (the one with the tennis ball).

Looking back, I think they were really onto something with these scheduled outdoor breaks built right into the day. I’m going to start calling my own breaks Adult Recess. It just sounds more fun that way.

One of the most common fears I hear from new creatives is the fear of putting yourself out there. And I get it, it’s vulnerable, it’s awkward. When I first started writing online, I’d constantly have thoughts like What will that acquaintance from high school think? What will my parents think? How about my past coworkers?

The logical advice is to not care what people think. Most people won’t actually judge you and they’ll admire you for having the courage. And if someone does judge you, they don’t matter.

But fear is an emotional problem not a logical one.

The good news is, you don’t need to make a big announcement to the world. You can start small. You can even start anonymously. That’s what I did with my menswear newsletter Riveting. I quietly launched it on Substack and wrote a few posts before telling anyone.

Another option is you can create a burner account. One of my goals this quarter is to experiment with Instagram Reels for my menswear content. I’ve never made one before, and honestly, I’m nervous. So I’m setting up a burner account where I can practice, get feedback from trusted friends, and work on the craft without the pressure of an audience.

The more reps you put in, the less scary it becomes. Bit by bit, you start tackling bigger fears. And over time, your courage begins to grow.

Write to Think

Last year, I often struggled with writer’s block.

This year, that hasn’t really been an issue. One of the biggest mindset shifts I’ve made is changing how I approach writing. Instead of seeing it as something I have to do every day, I now view it as an opportunity to think through ideas and clarify my thoughts.

Take my afternoon routine, for example. I’ve always found it challenging. So I sat down to write about it - not with a solution in mind, but simply to explore the problem. In the process, I began to understand what my ideal afternoon could actually look like.

Over the past few days, I’ve been testing out that routine, and I’ve had some of the most productive afternoons I’ve ever had.

That’s one of the reasons why this daily blog has been such a powerful tool in my self-improvement journey. Writing helps me clarify my thoughts and ideas. And when I apply that clarity to my own life, it creates momentum. And that momentum compounds over time.

Spring 2025 Reading List

One of my favorite things about a new season is putting together a fresh reading list.

In the Information Age, I still believe the best ideas are found in books. I especially enjoy reading older titles as the ideas are foundational thinking in them, the kind that newer books build on.

Right now, my two core identities are working in Growth at a high-tech company and diving deep into menswear. I curate my content diet around these two interests. I call it the pi-shaped information diet: going deep in two areas - like the legs of the Greek letter π - while staying broadly informed by reading more general books too.

Here’s my reading list for Spring 2025.

Technology

Life 3.0: Being Human in the Age of Artificial Intelligence — Max Tegmark
Product-Led Sales - Vincent Jong
Improving Language Understanding by Generative Pre-Training (GPT-1 Paper) — OpenAI

Fashion & Menswear

Slaves to Fashion: Black Dandyism and the Styling of Black Diasporic Identity — Monica L. Miller
Uniforms: Why We Are What We Wear — Paul Fussell
The Triumph of Individual Style — Carla Mason Mathis & Helen Villa Connor

Miscellaneous / Fiction / Personal Growth

Neuromancer — William Gibson
Labyrinths — Jorge Luis Borges
Tiny Experiments — Anne-Laure Le Cunff
Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China — Jung Chang
Goodbye, Again - Jonny Sun

Everyone Has a Book In Them