On Grand Openings
When I first launched my daily blog on January 1st, 2020, I didn’t announce it on social media, I didn’t throw a party, I barely told anyone besides close friends and family.
It was scary enough taking the leap and putting my work out there. I didn’t want the added pressure of everyone I know reading my work.
Instead, I launched it quietly. For the first month, I focused on writing every day to my small audience of close friends and family.
I meet many people that are scared to write because of the fear of putting themselves out there. But you can tackle it in steps. You can start writing on a public blog without telling anyone. Then you can share it with confidants. Then friends and family. Then eventually start posting publicly. Not everything needs a grand opening.
That was five years ago, and I’ve grown since then.
What scares me then doesn’t scare me now.
When I first came up with the idea in August for a newsletter focused on menswear, I knew I wanted to host a launch party.
At this point in my creative journey, I want to let others know about my work. I have confidence in my craft and my ideas. I know there are people out there that will find value and inspiration from my work. And now it’s my mission to make it easy for them to find me.
Today is the day of my launch party my newsletter Riveting. I’ve hosted over 50+ events in NYC now. Yet, I still get scared, anxious, and excited leading up to the event. At this point, I understand that the emotions are part of the journey. And everything will turn out alright.
Less Learnings, More Reminders
Often times, we don’t need to learn anything new.
We need to remind ourselves of old lessons, again and again.
You Need 3 Daily Wins
I stumbled on @ipposmindset Instagram account and I love the aesthetic. Motivational quotes over 90s anime pictures.
The above reel is one of my favorites.
You need 3 daily wins: one physical, one mental, and one spiritual.
NYC Has Youthful Energy
I was catching up with a friend from Toronto today and she told me how New Yorkers feel younger. For example, if she meets a 32-year-old in Toronto, they’ve settled down already. Maybe they’re married and bought a house. Whereas in NYC, there are many single 32-year-olds.
I noticed the same thing among my friends. A few of my friends back home in Toronto are married or have a long-term partner. Whereas not many of my New York friends are even in long term relationships.
I have a few friends in their thirties who are living life no differently than my friends in my twenties. My roommate has a coworker in their forties who’s still rooming with his friends.
New York isn’t the city many people settle down in and perhaps that’s what keeps us young.
Consistency Leads to Greatness
Inspired by Steph Smith’s piece on How to be Great? Just be Good Repeatedly (Shout out to David!).
I’ve been writing every day for more than almost 5 years now. Looking back at my journey so far I realize how much I’ve grown as a writer.
5 years ago, I didn’t know a single writer. Now, I’m surrounded by writers and started my own writing community in NYC.
5 years ago, I haven’t written a single piece. Now I’ve written over 1700+ posts.
5 years ago, I didn’t think of myself as a writer. Now, people I meet think I’m a talented writer.
Greatness isn’t instaneous. Greatness is the result of consistently good effort over a long period of time.
3 Hours a Day is All You Need
June Huh is a poet-mathematician who won the Fields Medal, math’s version of an Academy award, back in 2022. In an interview with Quanta magazine, he says that he has three hours of focused work a day:
On any given day, Huh does about three hours of focused work. He might think about a math problem, or prepare to lecture a classroom of students, or schedule doctor’s appointments for his two sons. “Then I’m exhausted,” he said. “Doing something that’s valuable, meaningful, creative” — or a task that he doesn’t particularly want to do, like scheduling those appointments — “takes away a lot of your energy.”
Many creatives - and math at the highest level is creative - work similarily to June. 3-4 focused hours of work is the upper limit. Then they spend the rest of the time on lighter tasks or in a state of deep play.
Even if One Person Finds It Valuable, It Makes It All Worth It
Yesterday, we had our Olive Tree Writing Club Season 4 Kickoff.
Around 25 people showed up on a rainy, cozy Sunday morning to write.
As always, it was heartwarming to see the OTWC regulars and meet the first timers as well as well.
One of the first timers, Guo, joined after hearing about OTWC from my co-host Abi.
During the session he wrote about finding community and his experiences with OTWC:
I realized that because I’m an introvert, and that situation is rare for me, frequency is important.
What do you mean by frequency?
The frequency of going to the same/similar event if I like the vibe & people.
For example, I went to a Sunday Rabbithole last week. I actually enjoyed the atmosphere and the people I met. And one of them started a writing club called Olive Tree Writing Club. So, I’m writing this article at their Sunday writing kickoff as you’re reading this. And I can really see myself coming to their future event and making friends with people here.
One of the reasons why I started OTWC was to create a social space that I wish existed. I love meeting other writers and I wanted to create a space to see my writing friends every week in a way that was welcoming too.
It’s shout outs like this that validates much of the hard work we’ve put in over the years.
Even if one person finds it valuable, it makes it all worth it.
Admit To Yourself That You Want It
The intro to the Louis Vuitton SS24 show starts with a conversation between a young man and his mentor:
Do you admit to yourself how bad you want it?
’Cause sometimes I’ll make excuses, sometimes I’ll go like, I’ll be a little shy about it
Sometimes I don’t say like truly how badly I want it.
I don’t want to admit to myself how badly I want it.
I think about this conversation often.
I’m scared to admit what I want. My brain starts to over-intellectualize and make excuses for not wanting it.
But you’ve got to admit it yourself.
That’s the first step to making it a reality.
Find Teachers, Peers, and Students
Find teachers you can learn from.
Find peers who will challenge you.
Find students you can teach.
That’s how you become great.
Don’t Trust the Process
Trusting the process assumes there’s an end goal in mind.
Enjoy the process instead.
The Story You Tell Yourself
Your life is a function of the stories you tell yourself. Once you learn your personal narratives are not truth, they are just stories, you can begin to shape your own narrative.
Before you’re aware of your personal narratives, many of these narratives come from our environment and society. There are narratives that you inherit because of your race, your gender, your culture, and your upbringing.
Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
Part of life’s journey is constantly surfacing these narratives, challenging them, and then rewriting the narrative.
Growing up, I was told that quiet Asian kids aren’t leaders. I rewrote that personal narrative.
I was told that I wasn’t a great speaker. I rewrote that personal narrative.
I was told that math and science kids couldn’t write. I rewrote that personal narrative.
Right now, I have a self-limiting belief that says I’m not one to put myself out there. I don’t like selling myself. I’m not good at marketing. I’m challenging that narrative as we speak.
Ideas Are Easy, Showing Up is Difficult
The other day I met the cheese ball man at a friend’s housewarming party. If you don’t know who the cheese ball man is, it’s a viral public stunt were a man ate a whole Costco jar of Cheeseballs in Union Square. As silly as it sounds, thousands showed up to cheer the cheeseball man on.
It turned out that the cheeseball man is a famous YouTuber. I asked him how he pulled this off and he broke it down for me.
When some people see a stunt like this, some think, “I can do that!” But you didn’t. That’s the difference between a creator and a consumer.
Creators understand that creating the work isn’t the hard part, but having the courage to take action and share your work with others, that’s difficult.
On Fear Setting
For the past few weeks, I’ve been procrastinating on organizing a launch party for my menswear newsletter.
After some reflection, I realized that my procrastination came from a place of fear. I was scared of putting myself out there, I was scared of being judged, I was scared of failing.
I recalled an exercise I did years ago that inspired me to take a semester off school to write, a decision that changed my life. The exercise was called Fear Setting, and the idea was to reflect on the risks, how to mitigate them, and the cost of inaction.
After performing that exercise, I realized there was little downside and huge upside to hosting this party.
The fear subsided, turning into excitement instead.
It’s now clear what I need to do.
Fear is a Compass
Fear is not to be conquered, you have to learn to dance with it instead.
Think of fear not as a negative emotion, but as a compass pointing you in the right direction.
The more it scares you, the more you grow.
If it doesn’t scare you, it’s not worth doing.
What are you scared of?
Go do that.
Then do it again.
Great communities are built slowly over time.
Olive Trees grow slowly and can take 10 years to fully mature. You can’t force an Olive Tree to grow faster, they must be cared for and tended to.
Communities are the same. Their growth can’t be rushed or you risk killing what made the community special in the first place.
On Shohei Ohtani (again)
More than a year ago, I wrote a quick post on my admiration for Japanese baseball phenom, Shohei Ohtani:
Every so often, an idea, a movie, or a person, comes along to challenge my preconceptions. Shohei Ohtani, the Japanese Baseball superstar, is an example of this.
I’m a casual baseball fan at best but I love watching Shohei. Most players opt to double down on their strengths through specialization. Either focusing on pitching or hitting. Shohei is a two-way player, one of the best pitchers and batters in the league.
Yesterday, he became the first player in MLB history to record 50 home runs and 50 steals. It breaks my brain trying to comprehend his accomplishments. This year, he’s recovering from Tommy John surgery so he isn’t pitching. Instead, he goes to prove he can hit and run better than anyone in the league.
Absolutely unreal Shohei.
Write One Sentence
I saw this tweet today that I found relatable and inspiring.
No matter how I tired I am, I’ll always make time for writing.
Even if it’s just one sentence.
Communities are Social Assets
In financial terms, an asset is something that makes money while you sleep.
I like to think of communities as social assets. Especially when you run a community, it makes social capital for you while you sleep. It’s hard to maintain relationships and meet new people, being part of a community makes that easy.
For example, I started the Olive Tree Writing Club with a few friends more than two years ago. I’ve met so many amazing people and made many close friends during that time span because of this community. Instead of trying to find my people, I attract them to me instead.
Nakama Revisited
Anyone that’s been following my blog over the years knows of my love for the anime series, One Piece. One Piece is an ongoing series that has released episodes every Saturday since 1997. I joined the journey 14 years ago and I’ve watched it every week since.
One of the major lessons I learned from one piece is Nakama, or friend, a recurring theme in the show.
In an early scene in the series, Usopp, the sniper on the Strawhat crew takes a 4 ton hammer to the head from Mr. 4. As the smoke clears, he’s still standing, bones broken, face bloodied, on the verge of death and gives an epic speech:
There is a time when a man will not run from a fight.
That time is when his Nakama’s dreams are laughed at.
Luffy won’t die.
I know that he’ll become the Pirate King.
I know he will!
And I won’t let you laugh at that.
Usopp’s known as the coward and the weakest on the Strawhat crew. But in this scene he showed his true strength by defending Luffy’s honour in his absence.
I first watched this scene when I was 13 years old. I remember crying when I first watched it, I teared up again watching this clip today. Usopp taught me what it meant to be a true Nakama and what a true Nakama looks like.
A Nakama fights for you in rooms you aren’t in.
Maktub
I’m living in Brooklyn for a reason.
I work at a construction tech company for a reason.
I’m running a writing community in the city for a reason.
I got into menswear for a reason.
I was judged harshly by someone I knew for a reason.
It didn’t work out with that one girl for a reason.
That one creative project didn’t work out for a reason.
The reason may not be clear now.
But each experience was meant to be.
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