Scaling Catchups

Today, I’m in San Diego for my company’s annual retreat.

I was catching up with a friend and coworker and found out he recently moved to a new city. He’s subscribed to my blog, so he already knew I had been in Vietnam, heard about the writing club, and knew about my new role at work.

One of my favorite things about writing a personal newsletter is that it makes it easy for people to catch up with me and stay in the loop. That’s why I wish more of my friends had personal blogs too, so I could keep up with what they’re doing as well.

Dress Like an Executive

In June 2023, I attended a work conference in Arizona. While chatting with an older gentleman, he paused and asked me a strange question: “No offense, but what level of seniority are you?”

At the time, I hadn’t yet updated my wardrobe, most of what I wore was still leftover from college.

That interaction made something clear, I looked like a new grad, and I dressed like one too. I probably came across as the youngest person in the room.

One thing I’ve learned about fashion, especially in professional settings, is that you never want to look like the youngest person in the room.

Clothing is a form of influence. When you dress like an executive and carry that presence, people often treat you accordingly, regardless of your actual title.

On Summer Side Quests

I’m a big planner. I set annual goals. Then I break those down into quarterly goals. Then I review my progress every week.

Being intentional about my goals has helped me achieve what I want. After doing this consistently for six years, I’ve started to understand what it takes to accomplish almost any goal.

But while my default mode is structure and planning, I always try to leave room for experimentation and serendipity.

That’s what summer is for.

This summer, I’m pausing on my usual creative projects to pursue some side quests.

This summer’s side quest is a new writing project. After reflecting on where I want to grow, it’s clear that I want to grow as a creative and a writer. My new writing project aligns more closely with this goal. I’ll share some more details soon.

Mental Photography Revisited

Some friends take photos to capture moments they want to remember. While I enjoy taking pictures too, I prefer to write about a moment. This blog serves as an archive, preserving what was happening and how I was feeling at the time.

Take my Vietnam trip, for example. Years from now, I’ll re-read posts written from that time and remember where I was and what I was feeling.

It’s like taking a mental photograph.

Destination Literature Revisted

Before I travel to a new destination, I like to search for the most culturally significant books from that place. It’s a way to understand the country on a deeper level.

Before visiting Vietnam, I read The Mountains Sing and The Sympathizer.

Through The Mountains Sing, I gained insight into how central the family unit is to Vietnamese life. The novel helped me understand the ideological divide between the Communist North and the Democratic South, and how the Vietnam War fractured families and left generational trauma in its wake.

Through The Sympathizer, I saw another angle of the war and its aftermath. I learned about the fall (or liberation) of Saigon, and how Vietnamese Generals, Commanders, and high ranking officials fled Vietnam, many ending up in the U.S. as waiters, busboys, or delivery drivers, carrying with them the weight of survivors guilt, PTSD, and loss.

It’s something worth trying on your next trip, find the most culturally significant media from the place you’re visiting. It doesn’t have to be a book, films or music can offer the same window. You’ll come away understanding not just the place itself, but how they think.

I Travel for the Fashion

Some travel for the food. Some travel for the art. I travel for the fashion.

When I travel to a new place, I’ll search for independent fashion brands, boutiques, and thrift stores. These stores are not just places of commerce but they’re community spaces for those with a shared interest in fashion. I’ll talk with the staff there, they’re usually the owners or at least passionate about the space, they then become my cultural guide for the city.

One of my favorite questions to ask is, “What’s the [insert city or country] style?” Any fashion nerd will perk up at that question.

Fashion is a reflection of history and culture and it becomes the lens that I understand the place.

Focus on Learnings, Not Goals

At the start of this year, I was put in charge of starting a Growth team at my company. The role is very output focused as we can have a clear profit and loss pipeline attached to our team. Despite that, my goal wasn’t hit a number, it wasn’t to get a promotion either. My goal was to learn as much as a I can about this skill and grow as a leader. Six months in, and we’ve got a few wins under our belt, there’s strong momentum, and many leaders are excited by what our team can accomplish.

There were a few times when we were stagnating on our goal, and I could’ve been stressed and anxious about it. But since I was growing and learning so much, I had trust that eventually we’ll win. And that ended up happening.

Lately, instead of setting goals and and asking what I want to achieve, I’ve been reframing the question as, what do I want to learn?

The former is focused on outcomes, the latter is focused on inputs.

I can control what I learn and learning and growth will lead to success.

Build a Life You Don’t Want to Escape From

I’m sitting in a café in Hoi An, facing a rice paddy. I just bought a 40-cent Vietnamese iced coffee with condensed milk. It’s a scorching 40 degrees outside with the humidity, but I’m tucked inside an air-conditioned room.

I love traveling. I love trying new foods, meeting people from different cultures, seeing how they dress and live.

But I also love my life in New York. I miss the creature comforts, the routine. I miss my friends. I miss pulling off fits in Williamsburg.

In Western culture, we romanticize travel. We plan elaborate vacations around our two weeks of PTO and look forward to them all year. It becomes a form of escapism.

And while this trip has been amazing, travel can get tiring. The novelty wears off. And sometimes, the existential dread creeps in too. Travel is fun but it isn’t fulfilling.

I meet a lot of people while traveling who feel stuck in limbo. They’re “finding themselves.” And while that’s fair, travel is a great time for self-reflection, many seem to use it as a form of escapism. They distract themselves by constantly meeting new people, partying, chasing pleasure, anything to avoid facing the bigger questions in life.

Instead of traveling to escape, build a life you don’t want to escape from.

Moving on From Fashion

During my vacation in Vietnam, I’ve continued to spend my mornings journaling and writing. These sessions have become a way for me to check in with myself, to re-evaluate my goals, projects, relationships, and work.

One realization that surfaced recently is that it might be time to move on from the fashion phase of my life.

I first got into fashion in the summer of 2023. What began as a project to upgrade my wardrobe quickly turned into an obsession. I went deep, I learned a whole new craft, developed a new skill set, immersed myself in an entire industry and way of thinking. My identity began to shift, both internally and how other perceived me.

I started writing about fashion too. It was a fun outlet to focus my curiosity on and express myself. And writing, I’ve come to realize, is a powerful form of self-monitoring. It’s a way to listen in on what the heart really wants.

Fashion gave me so much. And I’ve learned so much from it. But lately, it feels like I’m plateauing. One of my qualms with fashion as a craft is that it feels like a “pay-to-play” game. To keep growing in it, you have to keep buying new stuff. And that doesn’t resonate with me. At this point, I’ve found pieces I love and will hopefully wear for life. I’ve honed my personal style. While there are still improvements to make, I feel like I’ve almost reached my personal peak.

I’ve also noticed that when I visit bookstores, the fashion books on the shelves don’t resonate with me anymore. I’ve read most of the ones that interest me already.

That being said though, fashion has made me appreciate writing even more. I love that writing is accessible, I can it anywhere, at little to no cost. It reinforced the idea that writing is the craft I want to double down on.

I still love fashion. I love that I can now read an outfit and understand the stories people are telling through their clothes. I have a deep appreciation for the craftsmanship behind clothing. Fashion remains a meaningful way for me to connect with others and view the world. It’ll always be a hobby of mine and a perspective I carry.

Each creative project and phase carries with it lessons that help me understand myself. Fashion is still a topic I’ll write about occasionally. But there are other creative ideas that speak to me right now. And perhaps it’s time to put this chapter to rest.

My Friend Vu

During my trip to Vietnam, one of the most memorable stops was Ha Giang, where we did the popular Ha Giang Loop. As part of the experience, each of us had a local driver. My driver’s name was Vu.

The first thing Vu said to me was, “You look like that actor from G.I. Joe. I love this film. I watched it twice!”

Over the next few days, I got to know Vu. He was 28, same age as me. He showed me photos of his wife and son. I showed him pictures of my family too. We’d talk about life, Vietnamese culture, North American culture, my travels, etc.

On the bike, I played music through a portable speaker. Since we were on a motorcycle, I felt compelled to play some music from the Fast and Furious vibes. I queued up “Tokyo Drift,” Vu was vibing and bobbing his head to the music and driving a bit too fast. I then played, “See You Again”, which Vu said, “I love this song!”

We shared meals, happy water, and laughs. The whole thing felt like an episode of Anthony Bourdain.

After the trip, Vu sent me and my friend Ethan a heartfelt message on WhatsApp. He said he’d never met anyone like us. Most of the other travelers on the trip would talk amongst each other. But we talked with him, ate with him, answered even his “silly” questions, like we were family. And the next time we visit Vietnam, to hit him up and he’s happy to host us.

Sometimes I forget that this is what it’s all about. The sights, the sounds, the food, make a trip fun. But the people are what make the trips memorable.

Beijing Bikini Season

On my first day in Vietnam, I saw a Vietnamese uncle with his shirt rolled up to expose his belly. I assumed it was a way to cool down in the sweltering heat.

Today I learned that this practice is called the Beijing Bikini and is widespread across Asia, especially with older men. Some think that the Beijing Bikini is vulgar. So much so that a few Chinese cities started banning it.

I personally have no problem with it, and I thought it was pretty funny the first time I saw it. It is perhaps more practical to do this in the heat. But there is a double standard that women can walk around with their bellies exposed but men can’t.

Not Everyone Can Afford to Travel

Last night over dinner, we were eating and drinking with our local Vietnamese guides, guys around the same age as me. They asked about my travels and the countries I’ve been to.

I asked them about their travels, too. My friend Vu told me they don’t even think about traveling, it’s just too expensive.

It made me reflect on something I wrote the other day, about comparing the cost of living in New York City, one of the most expensive cities in the world, to Vietnam, one of the most affordable. I’m lucky I can come here and splurge without thinking too much about it. But for many locals, even though things are cheap here, the cost of traveling abroad can feel impossibly out of reach.

I Prefer Asking People Instead

When I first arrived in Hanoi, I was tempted to ask ChatGPT for the best restaurants to check out.

But I stopped myself. Instead, I started asking the people around me, the girl at the currency exchange, people at the hostel, shopkeepers, anyone local.

We live in an age where I can ask ChatGPT pretty much anything. Questions I might’ve once asked a stranger or a friend, I can now type into a box and get an answer instantly.

And while ChatGPT gives amazing answers, I don’t want to lose the human part. Asking questions is a great way to start a conversation, build trust, or connect with someone new.

You Can Write Everywhere

One thing I love about writing is how cheap and accessible it is.

I don’t need any fancy equipment, just a pen and paper. And even if I don’t have those on hand, I can open Apple Notes and start writing right there.

If I want to create a science fiction story, I don’t need a multi-billion dollar film budget. I can build entire worlds with nothing more than words. If I want to express myself, I can simply pull out my tools and get to work.

I don’t need to spend a dime. I can just do it anywhere.

My Vietnam Uniform

In One Piece, the Straw Hat Pirates travel from island to island, and each island serves as its own arc with a unique environment, culture, and adventure. Arabasta is a desert kingdom, Skypiea is a floating sky island, and the current arc, Egghead, takes place on a futuristic island.

With every arc, the Straw Hats wear a new fit that reflects the setting. I love that idea, wearing a uniform that marks the start of a new chapter or adventure in life.

Right now, in Vietnam, my current “arc uniform” has a simple template: a hat (my hair’s in that awkward phase) and a vest. The vest is my favorite part of the outfit. It’s so damn practical. At the airport, I keep everything like my phone, wallet, passport, flight tickets, AirPods, snackies on me. And when it’s time to go through security, I just slip the vest off. No fumbling through pockets. On day trips, I don’t need a daypack. I carry everything in the vest. Because it’s all close to my body, I don’t worry much about pickpockets either.

This uniform is quite versatile too, whatever bottoms, shoes, or layers I feel like wearing that day. It’s become my go-to uniform: simple, functional, and versatile especially for my trip in Vietnam.

My New Journal

Yesterday in Hanoi, around noon, I was walking back from a café to my hostel when I stumbled upon a small shop selling naturally dyed goods. They had bags, wallets, scarves, robes, all kinds of beautiful items dyed using traditional techniques by the Hmong people of Northern Vietnam.

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you’ll know I have a bit of an obsession with naturally dyed textiles. Before coming here, I knew Vietnam had a rich history of textile dyeing, so I’d been keeping an eye out for pieces like this.

One item I picked up was a notebook dyed in natural indigo, with a hand-drawn Batik print. The cover was stunning, and the paper inside had this soft, off-white tone with visible pulp.

Over the years, I’ve noticed something: when I use a good notebook and pen, I write more. Something about quality tools makes me want to sit down and put pen to paper. I’ve used the same pen for seven years now: a gold-plated Parker Jotter that was gifted to me by coworkers at the end of an internship. I just refill it when it runs out. And this morning, with this new notebook in hand, I had one of the most inspired journaling sessions I’ve had in a long time.

Cost Perspective

Earlier today, I spent my morning at a café in Hanoi. My Vietnamese coffee cost 40,000 dong, about $1.50 USD.

For lunch, I had phở with my friend. It came out to 30,000 dong, or $1.14 USD.

A bottle of water was 7,000 dong. That’s 24 cents USD.

One of the most striking things about traveling, especially when you live in New York City, is reminding myself just how much cheaper everything is elsewhere. Every transaction here feels like a quiet reminder of how skewed my sense of cost has become back home.

And I’m grateful. I recognize the privilege I carry: to be able to fly across the world, to sip coffee and have lunch for less than the price of a riding the MTA, and to experience Vietnam from a place of financial security.

Alternate Universe

First Vietnamese coffee, which I guess you just call it coffee, in Vietnam

I remember when I used to play Super Mario as a kid, when I unlocked and travelled to a new world, everything would be foreign: different terrain , characters, and physics.

That’s much like travel.

I arrived in Vietnam late last night, today is my first full day. I feel uncomfortable. Not in a bad way, but in the way that it’s a new, unfamiliar environment. I know next to nothing about Vietnam. In classic James fashion, I did almost zero research leading up to this trip. I’ll figure it out as I go.

First order of business this morning, I just exchanged some money and asked the lady at the currency exchange if she had any breakfast reccs. She told me that the spot across the street is really good. She walks me out and points towards the hole in the wall spot with plastic tables and stools. She waves at the staff, looks like they’re all friends.

I take her up on her recommendation. I arrived at the resto and sit on my small, plastic stool. At my small, plastic table there’s sits a small boy slurping on some noods. I’m pretty sure I’m sharing this small table with the owners son.

They don’t give me a menu, they just give me a warm bowl of noodle soup. I assume it’s Pho? I’ve eaten a lot of Pho but I actually don’t know wtf pho is.

I eat it anyway. Absolutely delicious. Just what I needed for my first meal in Vietnam.

All that for 1.90USD.

Be an Inspiration to Yourself

I find myself inspiring, but that wasn’t always the case.

I’d say that’s accurate from 2024 onwards. My big insight from that year was that the most lucrative opportunity is the one that makes you feel the most alive. At the time I was pursuing a writing idea that I thought was the most financially lucrative. It made a ton of sense on paper and I did think the idea was fun. But it was all cope. I didn’t actually care about the idea.

Ever since that realization, I’ve started designing my life not based on what’s the most “externally” lucrative, but whether it feels right for me.

And perhaps on a deeper level that’s what we mean when we describe someone as inspiring, to be inspirational is to pursue your most authentic self.

En Route to Vietnam

Vietnam. It grabs you and doesn’t let go. Once you love it, you love it forever. - Anthony Bourdain

When I was in middle school, I used to stay up late on Sunday nights to watch Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations on the Discovery Channel. I don’t remember exactly when I started, but it became a kind of weekly ritual, right up there with Friday night anime and Saturday morning cartoons.

I was captivated by Bourdain. He had a beautiful way of speaking, exploring cultures through food and using it as a lens to tell deeper stories. I admired how he got people to open up, sometimes even to the point of tears.

One of Bourdain’s favorite countries was Vietnam. He loved Vietnam. In the lead-up to this trip, I rewatched all of his episodes set there: A Cook’s Tour, No Reservations, Parts Unknown.

I’m writing this post in New York City’s, JFK, it’s 11:56pm, I board my flight to Seoul in an hour, it’s a 13 hour lay over, then I’ve got another flight from Seoul to Vietnam. I’ll be there by Friday evening.

Watching Bourdain as a kid planted the seed of wanderlust in me. I’d sit there watching his show thinking, “Someday, I’ll go to these places too.”