Anger is Uncontrolled Helplessness
A friend described anger as uncontrolled helplessness. I thought it was an interesting framing of the emotion. This blog post by Chris Wong expands on this:
At its root, anger is a reaction to the shame derived from both helplessness and grandiosity (the unrealistic sense of superiority). In Peter’s podcast with the family therapist Terry Real, he tells a story of his anger when a food delivery came late and he wasn’t able to make dinner on time. He felt shame because he felt he couldn’t provide for his family and needed to overcome the shame with anger at the delivery person… A feeling of inadequacy driven by helplessness or grandiosity creates shame. Anger is the reaction to the shame.