How I’ve Made Friends as an Adult

In his recent newsletter post, Arnold Schwarzenegger discussed loneliness and the challenges that many adults face in making friends. He asked readers to share their stories of how they’ve made friends as an adult. Here’s mine:

One of the reasons I moved to New York was to find a creative community. I scoured the internet, asked friends, and attended meetups and events to find what I was looking for. At one writing meetup, I met Dmitri and we started the Olive Tree Writing Club together. We met every week and started inviting our writing friends. These friends started inviting their friends and the group grew organically from there. As we were searching for a larger venue, we came across Verci - a community of creatives - and they were more than happy to host us. I then became a Verci member.

The Olive Tree Writing Club and Verci are two communities that have been fundamental in my New York experience. Both are characterized by physical spaces, routines, and gathering places. Every Wednesday I host the Olive Tree Writing Club and have the chance to see the same people every week. The Verci space is open 24/7, and is reminiscent of a college campus. When I visit, I see familiar faces and engage in conversation with new ones.

In short, I’ve made friends as an adult by finding others who share my passion for writing and creativity. I find that writing self-selects for the people I want to surround myself with: curious, interesting, empathetic, open-minded.

September 2, 2023

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