How You Treat Service Workers Reveals Your True Character

I was revisiting Ted Gioia’s piece on Evaluating Character, and one tip stuck with me:

2. See how they treat service workers

People reveal their true natures when they deal with others who have no power and can never return a favor. They feel immune and free of all consequences—so they let it rip. Their true self comes to the forefront.

I once had dinner with a CEO who was so abusive that the server left the table in tears and had to be replaced by a coworker in the middle of our meal. In another instance, I dealt with a (different) CEO who, before an important business meeting in a hotel could be heard outside in the hall screaming at one of the service workers.

I learned more about these individuals in those settings than from anything they said or did in a negotiation. In fact, you might not trust anything they say at the negotiating table after you’ve been with them at the dinner table.

In contrast, I’ve seen famous and powerful people who take extraordinary care in their dealings with service workers. This is one of the most reliable indicators of trustworthiness that you will find.

A few weeks ago, I was at a restaurant near my apartment. At the table next to us, the guy flagged down the waiter and barked, “Waiter, waiter, we want to pay.” He said it in such a condescending tone that it made me pause. It felt jarring, not just because of how he said it, but because none of my friends would ever speak to a waiter like that.

It’s only a small situation, but how you deal with the little things indicate how you’ll deal with the bigger things.