On Falling in Love

One of my favourites memes is the one from GTA San Andreas where he says, “Ah shit, here we go again.”

That meme accurately describes what it feels like when I start catching feels for someone. It’s an intense, exciting feeling. Yet, I can’t help but to be scared too. Every single time I fell in love in the past it’s lead to disappointment, grief, heartbreak.

After experiencing heartbreak again and again, apathy became my defence mechanism to prevent myself from going through that pain again. But that apathy held me back from not only loving others but expressing myself fully.

I see this in so many around me too. This tendency to keep your guard up because of trauma from past relationships.

Today, I’m putting my stake in the ground. I want to fully embrace the feeling of falling in love.

The thing is, love is a risk and heartbreak is inevitable. It might come as a rejection, a break up, or even loss through death. But heartbreak is the price of love. In a way, there’s something beautiful about mourning someone you once loved. The pain, the scars, they’re proof of the love that the love is real.