On Sharing Your Location

Yesterday, a friend texted me if I was free for dinner. He was planning on inviting a few friends for a casual meal on Memorial Day.

I didn’t have any plans yesterday, so I said yes.

It was going to be a small group, he said. And he suggested an Italian spot near Union Square.

As I left my apartment to get to the restaurant, I texted him, “On my way, should be there on time.” Just so he can keep track of my ETA, I shared my location with him. But I decided to share my location indefinitely because we’re close enough friends at this point. It made me reflect on this idea of sharing your location.

For those who don’t use an iPhone, Apple has this feature where you can share your location with a contact. It asks you if you want to share your location for 1 hour, until end of day, or indefinitely. Whenever I share my location, I have to pause for a moment and think through my choice. Is this someone I want to know the location of? Are we close enough?

Knowing someone’s location is an intimate detail and I feel like another milestone in the friendship. It’s a similar feeling to adding a friend to your Close Friends list on Instagram. I have around ~20 of my friends’ locations. I have all of my close friends’ locations.

When you know their location, you know where they live, you know if they’re travelling, you know if they’re a homebody or if they like to go out, you can see where they like to go out, you can see if two friends that don’t know each other are nearby, you can see if they are sleeping at someone else’s apartment. If they’re nearby in the same area, or in your neighbourhood, you can hit them up to hang out.

Apple also gives you the option to request someone’s location. I don’t ever do this. I usually share my location and I see if they reciprocate.

Two weeks ago, I was going to a party with J. I’ve known her for a few years now and as we were trying to figure out where to meet up, I decided to share locations, I chose Indefinitely. I’ve known her for nearly three years now, that’s an eternity in NYC. She shared her location too. The next day, I saw that she only shared her location until the end of the day. Now, she knew my location and I didn’t know hers which is an awkward dynamic. After a few days, I stopped sharing locations with her.

Similar, my friend that I shared my location with at the beginning, hasn’t shared his location with me either haha. I’ll stop sharing my location with him now.