The Irony of Likeability

Growing up, I wanted to be liked. I rarely said no to people, I wouldn’t speak out, and I avoided ruffling feathers. Many likeable people I know are similar.

Initially, I found it hard to be likeable and honest. If someone asked me for feedback I’d either sugar coat it or give dishonest feedback because I thought it would hurt the person and they wouldn’t like me anymore.

On the other hand, there are people that honest and not likeable. These people are direct, can come off as rude, and seem to lack empathy.

Honestly and likeability are opposing traits.

Yet, the most likeable people I know are brutally honest. The irony of likeability is that in the short term, honestly is uncomfortable and might add friction between you and the other person. But in the long term, people will will respect you even more. Finding someone that embodies both traits is incredibly rare. That’s what I aim to be.

June 6, 2021

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